wat bout pragnant strippers??
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
