yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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