Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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