i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Randomize
