Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
