Kiss
Puke
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
