she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
i need some magic done to my vagina
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize