I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Someone came in the potted fern
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
