I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
