Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
