When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Why is there bacon in the couch?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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