I'm drive I can fine osifer
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
