he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
