i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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