this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
