Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
