this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
