I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
