Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize