brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
