ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
my liver is dry heaving
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