I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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