who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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