dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
