You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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