I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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