You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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