Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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