There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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