Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
