Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
