So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
This house was built for laser tag.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
ok first of all what the fuck
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
