when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
