if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
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