There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I need to sanitize my soul.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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