she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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