when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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