No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
