I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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