Plan B is the new Plan A
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I know her cup size but not her name....
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
