does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
