would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
