i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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