you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I smell like Dick and happiness
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
