Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize