Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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