I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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