let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
