and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
