something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize