were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
