respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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