I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
