I think my fart just growled at me.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
