I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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