Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize