nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
