u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
