in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize