YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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