just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
soo... how was my night?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
