you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm sobbing to NWA
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
