I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
