And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize