is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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