i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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