worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
