when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize