Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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