Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
