pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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