why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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