I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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