i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
