idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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