Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
