You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize