I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
