the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
