Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
