Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize